no.stupid.answers

It’s winter. It’s holiday season. We’re seeing more of Santa ’round these parts. He’s being spotted in malls. He’s testing chimneys for sliding-ease. Getting those reindeer in shape for the Big Day.

Santa makes me think of bearded, wise men who smoke pipes. You know the type. They always have answers. I think it has something to do with the pipes. Hence, today’s WikiAnswers Wednesday question:

Does smoking a cockroach give a high?

Cockroach? I think you might be confused…

Allow me to explain what you really meant: Does eating a live cockroach give you visions of God? And the answer is, yes. Eat a live cockroach - it must be longer than your thumb, wider than a quarter. Feel it creep down your throat, close your eyes, lay back, and wait for God to begin giving you instructions.*

No, I’ve never done it myself… I don’t think I’m worthy of God appearing in my visions. I prefer to stick with smoking pipes with bearded Santas.

*Disclaimer: Don’t eat live cockroaches if you love yourself. Don’t eat them if you hate yourself, either. Just stay away from them. Thanks.