no.stupid.answers

Spring fever, anyone? Before you start running around searching for dates, read this week’s edition of WikiAnswers Wednesday to understand how the courting process has evolved.

How has courting changed throughout the years?

Actually, except for a few minor details, it hasn’t. Note the following:

Exhibit A: Neanderthal Age

Boy meets girl. Boy grunts. Girl rolls her eyes. Boy clubs the girl. Girl wakes up next to boy.

Exhibit B: Bible Age

Boy is hungry. Boy realizes he has a few extra camels. Boy goes to girl’s father and sells him a couple. Girl wakes up next to boy, holding a pot and some lentils.

Exhibit C: Shakespearean Age

Boy falls in love with the beauty of an unattainable girl. Girl falls in love with the words of an unattainable boy. Fighting ensues. Girl wakes up next to dead boy.

Exhibit D: Modern Age

Boy puts on his best silk shirt and gels his hair. Girl wears a lot of makeup and butt-hugging jeans. Dancing ensues. Girl wakes up next to boy, shrugs, and goes to work.

Pools. Cheese. Martial arts. The curiosity never ends, folks, so neither does my job. Here is what bloggers have been learning lately:

• Watch out; the Times Herald-Record is exploring the invention of martial arts.
• Osxdude’s World is cracking down on battery-draining car chargers.
• Lipgloss & Baseball wants to know what plastic is made from.
• The Wave gets watery in the dimensions of an Olympic-sized pool.
• Just a reminder that there are many uses for cheese…
• Like the names of blogs that are getting educated about when to use apostrophes.

Wow. Allergy season is upon us and I know that for me, this has been one of the worst hayfever seasons ever. I’ve been sneezing and itchy-eyed for what seems like months now. I should buy stock in Kleenex considering the amount of their lotion tissue I’ve used lately. I mean really…who can use tissue without lotion!? The little extra money you pay for the lotiony softness is so worth it.

I think I’m pretty lucky in the scheme of things though. Why? Well, because I’m only allergic to trees and grass…and dust…and cats. There are some people who are allergic to milk or wheat or sunshine. My life would be over if I had to stop drinking milkshakes or eating pizza or sitting on the beach. Period. I mean…I live in a beach town, folks. There are only but so many things you can request from a girl!

Anyway, back to me…and my allergies…I’ve basically learned to live with it. I just avoid cats at all costs (read “I give them evil looks when they try to come near me”) and carry tissues with me during the pollen-rich months of the Spring. It’s manageable.

Stop sneezing! Put away the dust masks! In the spirit of the season, WikiAnswers challenges you…ok I challenge you…to ask and answer questions about allergies!

I was walking with a group of friends in my town the other day, one of whom was wearing the signature Answers.com t-shirt.

(t-shirt front)

(t-shirt back)

As we walked, two kids rode by us on bicycles, the boy calling out: “So, what are all the answers???”

What I said out loud was, “Go to www.answers.com!”

But what I thought to myself was, You could start by wearing a helmet…

It’s been a bit longer than I usually wait for the WikiAnswers/Answers.com blogger round-up, so this is going to be a ginormous list.

Remember, folks: answers are everywhere - on the web, in your photo albums, between the seat cushions - you just have to keep looking till you find them.

Or, to make it easier, go to www.answers.com or http://wiki.answers.com.

And now for the list:

• Griffith Park, Interrupted is hesitant to reuse plastic bottles.
• Yarraville Paul sings the English translation for Pie Jesu.
• Emily Glauser gets the 411 on 420.
• A cat care blogger thinks about whether cats think (and therefore am?).
• Cnet is covering the topic of monopolies (let’s hope they aren’t the only ones!).
• In The Fourth Bit, good old Answers.com is listed as an excellent resource for Spanish-speakers learning English phrases.
• The Star learned something new (as am I):

In parts of Texas and Oklahoma, pinochle refers not to a card game but to the manly sport of thumb wrestling. One speculative explanation: It could be “related to the words pin and knuckle, describing the object of the game: using one’s thumb to `pin’ the other’s knuckle.”

• Bintel Blog discovers a stoush, and thankfully, the meaning of the Australian word.
• The Collegian gets a laugh with the definition of slapstick comedy.
• Nashua Telegraph is finding answers on changing the oil in a Toyota Camry.

Sometimes I think we need to focus on the questions and not the answers. I mean, really really look deep into the words that make up these questions. Stare these questions in the face and dare them to be less than spectacular.

And then there are questions that need to be examined from the point of view of the asker: Is this what the asker really wanted to know? Or is there more?

And then there are questions that really only want you to sit back, chuckle, and then fall asleep before coming up with the right answer:

How many Oreos would it take to reach the moon?

There is actually an equation if you click on that link. But there’s no reason to get all philosophical. I’m too distracted by craving Oreos.

How do you play a trick on your girlfriend?

Hmm… Is this question meant for a practical answer or is it just asked for the sake of hutzpah? Because I can guarantee that as good as you think the trick will be, it will not pay off.

Do imponderables like lizards and lollipops?

I’m not completely sure what this question means, but I like the sound of it. Do imponderables like lizards and lollipops?