no.stupid.answers

Everywhere we turn there they are; in the food we eat, the air we breathe and even on our cute pet pugs; no, I am not talking about the cast from High School Musical. I speak of parasites. As long as nature has evolved, parasites have evolved along with it.

So exactly what is a parasite, asks a WikiAnswers user.

A parasite is an organism that benefits from a close, prolonged relationship with another organism - its host - while the host organism is harmed. Examples include tapeworms in the human intestine, mites on a parrot or fungus infesting a maple tree. In all these cases, one species is sucking the life force out of another species.

So, are there any instances where this negative relationship occurs within the same species?

The answer, my fellow humans, is yes. Scientifically referred to as direct intraspecific kleptoparasitism, this type of parasitism is rare in nature but an all too common phenomenon amongst our own kind. Think about those hardworking parents, waiting with outstretched arms, to embrace their Xbox-playing, beer-chugging, Tila-Tequila-quoting, recent college graduates. These parents are so happy and giving, only to find, five years down the line, that their child has no intention of leaving the house with the couch, free laundry service and magical fridge that autofills each week.

What can we do to remedy this problem?

In nature, the rule is kill or be killed: the host or parasite will eventually die. Luckily, tapeworms are destroyed by one prescribed pill from the doctor, parrots get treated with a lethal-mite shampoo and fungus on a maple tree is attacked by toxins in the leaves.

People parasites are, however, different. There is no shampoo that gets your son a job interview or special toxin that oozes out of the Xbox controller when it’s been handled too long.

Perhaps communication is the key? Words are powerful, motivational and life-changing! Like one WikiAnswers user dared ask:

Can you tell your daughter and her children to move out of your house?

Change the locks. Sometimes locks speak louder than words and are a lot healthier than pesticide.

Have you ever sat in your cubicle at work thinking, “Gee, I wish I had more vacation days, shorter work hours and a bigger paycheck… I wish I had better medical benefits, a 2008 Bentley Azure with built-in seat warmers and was a redhead?”

Well, the first four can be easily solved by joining a union.

The National Labor Union was the first national union in the United States. It was created in 1866 and included many types of workers who bonded together for a common goal. The concept is simple - it’s hard to fight for things alone, there’s power in numbers.

So when a WikiAnswers contributor posed this question:

Do unionized workers earn more money or benefits than similarly situated workers in non-unionized firms in the same industry?

I immediately thought of zebras and this other WikiAnswers question:

Why do Zebras have stripes?

The answers to both of these questions are one and the same. Zebras, like unionized workers, have taken advantage of group tactics. In business psychology, this phenomenon is known as the ‘Union Wage Effect.’ Those workers who are part of a union have consistently enjoyed more benefits than their non-unionized counterparts- wages and pensions that are 16% higher, increased job security In hard economic times (i.e.- current recession), protection of rights, better health care, overtime pay, organized strikes, more vacation, and more compensated time off.

Sure you have to pay some annual dues and shout repetitive phrases while holding home-made signs, but you will have a lot more people looking out for you. Think about it - if you were in the wild, dealing with group demands is a small price to pay to avoid becoming a lion’s dinner (or lion’s appetizer if your BMI falls in the ‘petite’ category).

Zebras use the same technique, but in zoology this phenomenon is known as the ‘Dilution Effect’. It states that assuming the predator attacks different-sized groups - ‘n’ - with the same probability, an individual has a 1/n chance of getting picked out and killed - therefore, the chances of being killed decline as group size increases.

In other words, if a hyena attacks a group of 20 zebras, a zebra has a 1/20 chance of being eaten. If your boss tries to cut your overtime wages, and you are in a union of 100 people, your boss will have to work 99% harder to convince everyone to do so and his success of having that wage cut is 1/100.

And just as the symbol UFT has become synonymous with united teachers and EU has become synonymous with a united European currency, stripes are synonymous with zebra unity. When a lion looks at a group of zebras - all with the same patterns and the same stripes - moving against the long blades of African grass, it appears as though one massive striped pattern is moving together - and it becomes that much more difficult for the lion to pick out an individual from the crowd.

So next time you are at your cubicle asking yourself how you can make the day more enjoyable, remember the power is in joining your colleagues and standing up together as one voice - that’s how the zebras do it!

Many zebras, but one (hoarse?) voice.

Fact: Humans and Chimps share 98.5% of the same DNA; even more astonishing is the fact that we share about ¾ of our DNA with earthworms (maybe there is a genetic basis to the mounting popularity of dreadlocks, m’on). These scientific facts are important to keep in mind when making contributions to WikiAnswers areas that involve biology, zoology, genetics and of course, the never-ending and wonderfully complex area of human psychology.

As a former zookeeper and now a supervisor of the mental health category on WikiAnswers, I would often come across a question about people, communication and relationships and link it to a theory or explanation stemming from scientific literature, in the field of animal behavior.

I will make my case in point:

WA animal Question: “Why does a peacock have multicolored feathers?’

This brought me back to a mental health question I had read the other day- “How can a man attract women?”

Let’s begin with the first question which has a simple concrete answer grounded on scientific fact. A peacock, Pavo Cristatus, has multicolored feathers so he can attract and mate with as many peahens as possible. The bright plumage draws attention to the male; showing off his vibrant feathers is a sign of health. His unnaturally large and disproportionate tail, which would otherwise hinder an animal’s survival, is proof of his successful survivability; this is known as Handicap Theory. The loud peafowl call that echoes through the woods is a symbol of his dominance and vigor. His heavy tail-waiving and dancing is a sign of strength. The entire display has the peahens swooning, or scientifically speaking ‘sexually selecting’ the male, which in turn ensures the production of future offspring.

Now we can begin to understand the answer to the question “How can a man attract women?” Note: man is a singular word and women is plural- He does not want to attract a woman, or the woman- he wants to attract ‘em all.

This can be quite difficult because, unfortunately for males of the human species, they do not have multicolored feathers to draw attention to themselves. They achieve this in other ways: Large cumbersome biceps, absurd displays of bravado and pretending to enjoy ‘Sixteen Candles’ are some examples. Of course, it always helps to drive a convertible, hood down, wearing some bling. And just so you know, bling can come in many forms- from a 24-karat diamond studded chain to the latest iPhone - a bit more age appropriate for the older folks, not that age has ever been a discriminating factor.

In fact, peacocks can live up to 15 years- and are fully capable of breeding in the last years of their life. It may be hard to believe that even in its ripe old age, the senior citizen peacock will continue attempts to win over the peahens. By waving its tail, now wrought with arthritis, and sounding the mating call through its beak dentures - he will use every last ounce of energy for the shot at attracting the peahen.

Maybe the peacock would have it a bit easier if he knew what the peahen really wanted was for him to clean up the nest, complement her on how beautiful her feathers grew in after the molt, or catch a few worms for dinner once in a while, without being asked. But what do they know? They are just silly birds…

Coming up next: Zebra stripes and workers’ strikes- They have more in common than you think…