no.stupid.answers

There are all kinds of weird computer slang out there. Trying to decode it is like trying to hold a RAM by the horns while avoiding its bytes.

Here’s this week’s WikiAnswers Wednesday:

In computer terms what is a nibble?

In computer terms, a nibble is what I take when I’m eating chocolate chip cookies around the keyboard and my husband yells at me. Actually, those are more like big girl bites multiplied by hungry monster.

Feeling introspective. To be or not to be? I think therefore I am… E=MC2. Or something. Roll out the WikiAnswers Wednesday question:

Who is who you are?

You are you; you is you? I am me. One has oneself as their own. You have you, me has me. You has me. You has me at hello. Can I has you? I can has cheezburger?

That’s proves what I already thought: Introspection is for people with too much time on their hands. Good day.

Spring fever, anyone? Before you start running around searching for dates, read this week’s edition of WikiAnswers Wednesday to understand how the courting process has evolved.

How has courting changed throughout the years?

Actually, except for a few minor details, it hasn’t. Note the following:

Exhibit A: Neanderthal Age

Boy meets girl. Boy grunts. Girl rolls her eyes. Boy clubs the girl. Girl wakes up next to boy.

Exhibit B: Bible Age

Boy is hungry. Boy realizes he has a few extra camels. Boy goes to girl’s father and sells him a couple. Girl wakes up next to boy, holding a pot and some lentils.

Exhibit C: Shakespearean Age

Boy falls in love with the beauty of an unattainable girl. Girl falls in love with the words of an unattainable boy. Fighting ensues. Girl wakes up next to dead boy.

Exhibit D: Modern Age

Boy puts on his best silk shirt and gels his hair. Girl wears a lot of makeup and butt-hugging jeans. Dancing ensues. Girl wakes up next to boy, shrugs, and goes to work.

Sometimes I think we need to focus on the questions and not the answers. I mean, really really look deep into the words that make up these questions. Stare these questions in the face and dare them to be less than spectacular.

And then there are questions that need to be examined from the point of view of the asker: Is this what the asker really wanted to know? Or is there more?

And then there are questions that really only want you to sit back, chuckle, and then fall asleep before coming up with the right answer:

How many Oreos would it take to reach the moon?

There is actually an equation if you click on that link. But there’s no reason to get all philosophical. I’m too distracted by craving Oreos.

How do you play a trick on your girlfriend?

Hmm… Is this question meant for a practical answer or is it just asked for the sake of hutzpah? Because I can guarantee that as good as you think the trick will be, it will not pay off.

Do imponderables like lizards and lollipops?

I’m not completely sure what this question means, but I like the sound of it. Do imponderables like lizards and lollipops?

As I’ve mentioned, I am the WikiAnswers Supervisor for the colorful category of Body Piercing. This week’s question will be from that category, my favorite:

How do you pierce your own anti-eyebrow?

Now, you might be like, “what the duce is an anti-eyebrow?” and think that’s what I’m going for here. Is it some kind of inverse eyebrow? A unibrow? A rebellious teenage eyebrow?

Watch out, everyone! It’s the anti-eyebrow! Ahh! Hide your 666’s!

Well, folks: no. The anti-eyebrow is actually a type of body piercing. It’s a barbell placed between the cheek bone and eyebrow, creating a kind of teardrop look.

The stupid part of this question is the part asking about it doing it yourself. Do-it-yourself piercings are never a good idea. A professional has the right equipment and experience to get it right and get it healthy.

P.S.: Did you know that the medical term for unibrow is actually synophrys? It sounds sooo much more attractive that way, too.

For some, the bathroom is the holiest room of the house. For others, it is most definitely not. Whichever way you lean, the fact is, the bathroom is pretty darn important. So here is one of the most important WikiAnswers Wednesday questions you will ever read:

How do you use toilet paper?

Rather than go into the - um - dirty details, I’d like to briefly explain where I got the inspiration for highlighting this question. And by briefly, I mean, I got it in… the bathroom. At the Answers Headquarters. Because it is hanging there. The question is hanging there, to be read and understood as you… well, yeah.

Don’t believe me?

My favorite part about it is the commentary that someone had a thought while reading it and penciled in: “Why is this question categorized in the Health category? RECATEGORIZE!”