no.stupid.answers

Special guest today! I’m pleased to present this week’s edition of WikiAnswers Wednesday, written by no other than the Rhyme Master. Ok, I don’t actually know who that is, and the rhyming is questionable at best… But who doesn’t love a good, creative answer once in a while?

What rhymes with cheeks?

“I see you have a problem with rhyming,

I certainly hope that I have replied with good timing!

I am the rhyme master,

I rhyme and eat pasta,

no one can rhyme faster!

To rhyme with ‘cheeks’

the following words

may be used on

any day of the weeks,

words like:

leaks,

peeks,

speaks,

seeks

and beak…

yo!

So just use your ears

and the rhyme master will

call to you in the wind,

do not fear!”

The upcoming Giants/Patriots game is the talk of the town. If you don’t know what game I’m talking about then you don’t deserve to read the rest of this entry…so stop right here.

We had to get in on the action so the latest featured topic over at WikiAnswers is, of course, the Super Bowl. Our special guest columnist, Jim, tuned in with some Super Bowl math to help us out today. Jim always comes through when we need him…he seems to know something about everything!

What are the expenses for both teams in the Super Bowl?

According to Jim…

The expenses for both teams in the Super Bowl can be answered by using simple Dionysian geometry. Take the mean number of players for each team and put them in a differential algorithm that calculates the basic cost of each player. Once you have this number, you can find out the expenses for each team.

I’ll save you the time and tell you what the results are. For the Patriots, it is 1.2 million dollars before taxes. For the Giants, it is 1.6 million dollars.

Don’t read any more if you don’t want to know the result of the Super Bowl. Patriots win 49-26!!!

While calculating expenses it’s also important not to forget that the Super Bowl means so much to so many countries, not just the US. For example, in Micronesia the Super Bowl is celebrated by reciting Homer’s Iliad and a nationwide Israeli folk dance. The Super Bowl brings out the best in cultural sharing throughout the world.

I hope this helps, and I’m always here for any super bowl questions you might have.
Finally, Meital, will you marry me?

—–

Huh? Is that a marriage proposal? I guess she’s the only who can answer THAT question…how about YOU go ahead and answer some of the other Super Bowl questions now!

In life, sometimes you don’t always get the answers you want. Here is an example:

What is a 6-letter word with ‘e’ as the fifth letter?

Stop trying to cheat in Scrabble, punk! Cheating in games is for losers… sore losers, that is. And young children with low self esteem. Come on: think of the word on your own, get those extra bonus points and feel good about it, or suck it up.

There’s your answer. You disgust me.

*The answer is “letter.” Duh. Six letters. E. Go away.