no.stupid.answers

Is Aggie80 competitive?  Nah.  He’s only placed in seven WikiAnswers contests, won one WAmmy award and one Wizards of Wiki award during his tenure as a supervisor on Answers.com.  I was about to greet him at the Answers Summit in Atlanta a couple weeks ago when I noticed he was typing on his laptop.  I inquired about what he was doing.  He was answering questions in the Holiday AnswerThon naturally!  Whatever it takes to keep his winning streak alive…  This week Aggs waxes poetic about his favorite pastime, the AnswerThon, in the Poetry Cafe.

[If you would like your original poetry profiled on this blog, please e-mail it to poetry @ wikianswers.com (no spaces) and include your Answers.com username!]

An AnswerThon Weekend, by Aggie80 (with apologies to Clement Clark Moore)

’Twas the night before AnswerThon, when all through the house
The only creature stirring was the computer mouse
The keyboard was placed by the monitor with care
Ready for the AnswerThon that soon would be there.

The Super was nestled all snug in his blanket
The WikiAnswers logo more than apparent
And wife in her T-Shirt and I in my cap
Had just settled down to brace for attack.

When up on the screen there arose such a chatter
I checked message boards to see what was the matter
Opened a window, fingers flew in a flash
Popped open more tabs and adobe flash.

Disdainful answers to things you should know
Threw a pall on the knowledge deleted below
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the Vandal Patrol and their warnings so clear,
With nimble fingers to delete the perverted,
I knew in a moment it would soon be reverted.

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Reverted the answers and then blocked that jerk.
And laying my finger aside of my mouse,
I comment to no one, “We fixed that louse.”

More rapid then eagles the key strokes they came
They chatted and messaged and typed out by name
Now, Deb, now Brave3, now Ami and Apryl
On Jade, on Bob, on Aggie and Crystal!
To the pages and references that sit by the chair
Looking for answers that soon would be there.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the screen the answers they flew,
Devoid of the insults and bad spelling too.

Sunday morning came early the answers still flowed
The gleam of the hunt from my eyes still glowed
By afternoon’s light, my fervor had faded,
My answers were terse and some thought  jaded.
The crust of a pizza I held tight in my teeth,
The steam of my coffee round my head like a wreath.

I have a broad face and a little round belly,
That shakes, when I laugh, like a bowlful of jelly.
I was dressed in pajamas, from head to my foot
And my clothes were all wrinkled and crumby to boot.

My eyelids were sagging, my disposition not sunny!
My cheeks were all flush, my nose sort of runny!
My oversized forehead was certainly aglow,
And the chin full of stubble had had three days to grow.

Though chubby and plump, a right jolly old super,
I laughed at the mirror at my own sleepless stupor.
A kink in my neck and an ache in my back
Soon gave me to know I was an aging old hack.

I had given my all, I had done my best,
It was now time for a well deserved rest.
But a moment to post, on my WikiAnswers wall
“To all a good answer and Season’s Greetings to all!”

Winners of the Holiday AnswerThon have been announced. But if you’re too lazy to click that link, I understand (still tired from the Summit?). So I have reprinted them here:

FIRST PLACE: Aggie80 ($500 Amazon gift card!)

SECOND PLACE: Wonderful Wanda and Infinitedrmr ($250 Amazon gift card!)

THIRD PLACE: Xwizardgodx, Eclipse8, and Squirrel Man ($100 Amazon gift card!)

Go Aggie80, go! Not only did he win first place, but he participated in the Answers Summit as well… Aggie, how do you find the time?

Reminder, folks: The Holiday AnswerThon starts tonight at midnight (EST)!

The prizes include:

• The FIRST PLACE winner will receive a $500 Amazon gift card.
• Two SECOND PLACE winners will each receive a $250 Amazon gift card.
• Three THIRD PLACE winners will each receive a $100 Amazon gift card.
• Twenty RUNNERS UP will receive WikiAnswers merchandise.

Review the details (and rules!) and check below for some AnswerThon tips:

• Find unanswered questions in the qualifying categories by going to the category’s Unanswered Questions page. You can find a link to that under Category Tools in the left hand menu.
• Do a search for questions relevant to the qualifying categories. If unanswered questions have been wrongly categorized but belong in one of the contest’s categories, you may recategorize it appropriately first and then answer.
• Make sure to review the rules below before starting the AnswerThon!

While some contributors attend the Answers Summit this weekend, how about playing to win in the Holiday AnswerThon?

This is not your typical AnswerThon. Aside from having fabulous prizes on offer - including a first prize worth $500 - this contest has a new twist. You must answer the most questions in a 48 hour period in specific, holiday-themed categories. Those categories include:

• Holidays and Traditions
• Food and Cooking
• Shopping
• …and all sub categories falling under them.

You may remember back in May that HisPowr4U passed the million contribution milestone.  She now has some company in the 1,000,000 contrib club… Steven Keyman!  Steven has been an active contributor since June, 2006 (when WikiAnswers was known as FAQ Farm!).

Along the way he’s helped countless memorabilia collectors with their questions about sports collectibles and sports cards.  He also walked away with three WAmmy Awards earlier this year.  Even more, he finished in 2nd place in our first AnswerThon, 1st place in the April edition and 3rd place in our most recent (October) installment of the question-answering contest!  Be sure to take a moment and congratulate the Key Man today!

This past weekend was an exciting and intense AnswerThon, mainly due to the fact that the first prize is a $1,000 Amazon gift card… Not to mention, 34 other prizes available to other winners and runners up!

Keep in mind, the folks mentioned below managed to answer hundreds - and some over one thousand - questions in a 48-hour period over the weekend.

So, on to the winners. Drum roll, please….

FIRST Place goes to Blue, who clocked in with over 1600 answers!

SECOND Place is taken by Aggie80, a past champion who answered over 1200 times!

THIRD Place prizes are awarded to Fuzzy Logic (1100+), Porkchop1802 (900+) and Steven Keyman (900+).

The thirty RUNNERS UP include: HisPowr4U, Darksyde, Anandvijayakumar, EndTrans, Xuxa, Ftaylor13, Chemistry4thewin, Ananddave, Jadeacres, Ibbag, Manikkpudur, George McCasland, ThePigWhisperer, Blackwolfspirit, Jute, Squirrel Man, Ilovebulldogs, Webby08, Mathdoc, Funbelow, EducationsAdvocate, Idisjunction, Hilmarz, Kharrima, Bluedolphin30, Armoryhistorian, Ginezumi, MattApril, C.Hainsaw, and Wiki Gator.

Thanks to everyone who participated this weekend! And congrats to the winners. Until next time… you are the AnswerThon champions!

Stay tuned for some news regarding future contests coming soon… All I can say is, more contests, more often. I said, stay tuned!

Well, in a few more hours, that is.

The AnswerThon begins tonight at midnight, EDT, and continues for the next 48 hours through Sunday night.

Hope you’ve been practicing… Word has it that past winners are flexing their champion typing muscles for this one. Big prizes at stake.

In case you haven’t already, read the rules so you know in advance and don’t have to backtrack.

See you on the other side!