no.stupid.answers

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about this one, so I’m just gonna play it straight: How do you get closure on or get back with your ex when the state has put a restraining order between you both? (Which makes me wonder… If you have a restraining order on a person, can you even contact them?)

What if you suspect a little marital infidelity? Can you get a restraining order on your wife’s boyfriend? The answer is you can keep him away (from you and from your wife) if you can justify it in front of a judge. But be careful to play your cards right - in some states, her paramour might be able to file back at you in some states.

Elsewhere in WikiAnswers land, someone must have been really sick of babka and cheek-pinching to have asked, Can I get a restraining order against Grandmother? If you’re aiming for a heart attack, honey, a fake restraining order will do. And unless she’s truly dangerous, try talking to her.

Some of these questions sound amusing out of context, but restraining orders - though temporary - are serious business. Courts issue restraining orders to protect a person from physical pain or injury (or threat of pain or injury). They are free, can be issued on the spot, and you don’t need a lawyer to get one.

If you are looking for legal information about how to apply for a restraining order, the Legal Assistance Resource Center of Connecticut has a comprehensive guide.

For those of you who aren’t ready to take legal action but are still curious about getting that extra mile or two of personal space, here are some more facts about restraining orders:

• Who can a restraining order be filed against?
• How much does a restraining order cost?
• Is a restraining order valid if the person’s name is misspelled?
• Does a restraining order keep you from getting a job?
• How do you end a restraining order?

There are a lot of questions on WikiAnswers about Virgo, like this one. But the sixth sign of the zodiac, while a stellar topic, is not really the point of this post. Today in Tainted Love, we explore Virgos themselves. We’re here for some answers. So, folks, let’s see how we do.

Angry Virgo boy

How do I annoy thee? Let me count the ways. Ah, but this is no ordinary button-pushing. What we have here is a very special, very specific request:

What can you do to make a Virgo boy angry?

Virgos are known to be meticulous and reliable. To really irk a Virgo, try arriving late to his romantic dinner date and then telling him loudly (making a scene in the obviously sophisticated restaurant) that his tie knot is crooked. Alternatively, go to his apartment, unfold all his white undershirts, and toss them on the floor in a heap.

Online dating is not the only answer

So while you’re busy trying to make your boy angry, he’s got a totally different goal. He’s aiming for the opposite, and he desperately needs your help:

How does a Virgo boy attract a Virgo girl?

Please answer his question. If you do, he might just fall for you… and if you’re lucky, you’ll even notice :)

Virgo in love??

Virgos may wear love differently than the rest of us - at least, that would explain this question:

What are the signs a Virgo has fallen in love?

Perhaps Virgos aren’t as obvious (or amorous) as the other 11 signs. They’re shy (no public displays of affection) and practical (no sweeping things off desks in a moment of passion), not to mention perfectionistic, overcritical and easily worried. No wonder people can’t tell when a Virgo’s in love. And that brings us to our next question…

Silver lining!

What are the strengths of a Virgo?

That’s easy. They have a reputation for being honest. Reliable. Pure. And courteous. Among other things. And so we reach our happy and most natural ending:

What diamond is suitable for a Virgo?

Now go get your Virgo!

Tomorrow is what? Valentine’s Day? Isn’t the whole ‘love’ thing an outdated concept from the 19th century, i.e., Jane Austen novels?

Alright, alright, I suppose this week’s WikiAnswers Wednesday question ought to answer something related to the most hated love day of the year. And I suppose of all people, Jim ought to answer it.

How do you design a masculine Valentine’s Day box?

When someone you love goes for a month it’s not easy to deal with. Your head is full of thoughts and emotions. Will she come back from New York? Will she and Ralph get married while she’s there?

I recently underwent a similar situation when a dear friend of mine stabbed me in the heart with an ice pick. At least that’s what it felt like when this friend went to New York and stayed with her former flame, coincidentally named Ralph.

At first I think I was in shock and I didn’t think about it too much. However, after a few days I noticed a few physical changes. I formed huge welts on my back, although those could have been related to the paintballs shot into my back at a close distance.

Still, the paintballs could not explain the blue pigmentation I noticed in my skin. Nor could it explain the massive kidney failure I experienced last week. However, my decades-long high sugar diet and not having drunk any water last week might have resulted in the kidney complications.

In short, if a lover friend does to you what I described above, odds are they are not your lover friend. In fact they are most likely a two-timing backstabber who only wants to suck your blood, in the case your friend has vampiric tendencies. My advice to you, my wikicommunity friends, is to close yourself off from the world, and eat lots of cookies. Cookies always make you feel better.

Finally to answer the question posed above… not sure you can. ‘Masculine’ and ‘Valentine’s’ are not complete opposites, but they don’t go together like PB and J, either.

-Jim

Whoa! It’s already mid-February!? That means Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. For singles, Valentine’s Day is just an annoying Hallmark holiday that makes us feel like crap. But for you cute lovebirds out there, it’s a day to celebrate the love between you and your Valentine.

Hmmm…maybe us single folk could just focus on celebrating all the OTHER love in our lives! Like our love of chocolate, for example. The day AFTER Valentine’s Day is, after all, an excellent time to buy great chocolate on sale! All those truffles the couples spend a fortune on will suddenly be half price for the rest of us!

What about you? Have you found the perfect gift for your Valentine? How will you be saying “I love you” this year? With flowers? Candy? A car?

Join in the WikiAnswers love fest… ask and answer questions about Valentine’s Day gift giving now! Share that love!