no.stupid.answers

Because I almost majored in psychology back in college, I thought I’d dedicate today’s edition of WikiAnswers Wednesday to my talents in analysis. I make no guarantee that you will be cured, however.

If three astronauts are in a canoe flying over the Gobi desert and they crash how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house?

Here are a few of the actual answers given,along with my psychological commentary.

It depends on how fast they were flying and the size of the dog.

This answer reflects a diversion tactic often used on questioners when the answerer has no freakin’ clue, so they essentially ask to clarify the question. Seen very often in middle and high schools.

73 because a motorcycle has no doors.

Ah, yes. Drawing attention away from the issue at hand. A confusion-diversion tactic.

0 because Dairy Queen don’t deliver on Wednesday.

Too true, and possibly the best answer of the bunch. I’ve been a victim of that Dairy Queen problem for years.

63 because John Lennon isn’t from Scandinavia

This is a guilt tactic. John Lennon is dead, and therefore when hearing his name in the response, the questioner becomes saddened and forgets the initial question. Works extremely when using Martin Luther King, Jr.

Where is Ted Kennedy on this day? Double the pancakes. Size of the dog house could also affect the hysteresis loop, propagating a negative slew rate, possibly causing the pancake effect. This is remedied by all pancake “roofers”, no pun intended, to eat said pancakes prior to “roofing”. The slew rate will get through the hysteresis loop, validating good shingles. That is all the clarification you need.

Verbose ranting. Indeed.

Ice Cream has no bones

Thank goodness.

42

A classic response to any question, and quite a cliche I might add.

There you have it, a display of psychological genius. Care to share your own?

Thanks to our dear friend Pickleshy, this week’s WikiAnswers Wednesday question is absolutely ridiculous, unlike the usual ones we feature here, which are completely normal.

Allow me to explain:

How do you fix a photo-nucleo-trans-amic-polutrize-ziptimiser?

Pickleshy is not only awesome at finding the ridiculous questions, she excels at answering them, like so:

Here are the steps to fix a photo-nucleo-trans-amic-polutrize-ziptimiser:

1. Build a good photo-nucleo-trans-amic-polutrize-ziptimiser.
2. Throw the perfectly good photo-nucleo-trans-amic-polutrize-ziptimiser off your roof.
3. Gather the pieces.
4. Use original design to fix. If too difficult, start over from step 1.

How do you suppose one of thems would look, anyway?

Feeling introspective. To be or not to be? I think therefore I am… E=MC2. Or something. Roll out the WikiAnswers Wednesday question:

Who is who you are?

You are you; you is you? I am me. One has oneself as their own. You have you, me has me. You has me. You has me at hello. Can I has you? I can has cheezburger?

That’s proves what I already thought: Introspection is for people with too much time on their hands. Good day.