no.stupid.answers

It’s winter. It’s holiday season. We’re seeing more of Santa ’round these parts. He’s being spotted in malls. He’s testing chimneys for sliding-ease. Getting those reindeer in shape for the Big Day.

Santa makes me think of bearded, wise men who smoke pipes. You know the type. They always have answers. I think it has something to do with the pipes. Hence, today’s WikiAnswers Wednesday question:

Does smoking a cockroach give a high?

Cockroach? I think you might be confused…

Allow me to explain what you really meant: Does eating a live cockroach give you visions of God? And the answer is, yes. Eat a live cockroach - it must be longer than your thumb, wider than a quarter. Feel it creep down your throat, close your eyes, lay back, and wait for God to begin giving you instructions.*

No, I’ve never done it myself… I don’t think I’m worthy of God appearing in my visions. I prefer to stick with smoking pipes with bearded Santas.

*Disclaimer: Don’t eat live cockroaches if you love yourself. Don’t eat them if you hate yourself, either. Just stay away from them. Thanks.

If you’re anything like me, you’re a last-minute shopper. And, while there may be no such thing as a stupid answer, there are stupid gift ideas…

The art of gift giving is to focus on the person receiving the gift as opposed to… yourself. Keep the age, background and interests of your generosity’s target in the forefront of your mind. Would you give your teenage daughter a fancy pen? Your boss a pair of sneakers?

Since the start of the ’season of giving’ (or is it ’season of buying?’), we’ve been receiving Santa-sized sackfuls of questions on WikiAnswers concerning what are appropriate gifts for seniors/toddlers/workmates and everyone else in our lives.

Here are some samples:

• What are some good Christmas gifts for teens?
• What are some good Christmas gifts for co-workers?
• What are good Christmas gift ideas for the person who has everything?

Feeling generous? Give answers to the Holiday Gift Giving Q&A on WikiAnswers.

And for gifts that work for anyone in your life - from baby to professor to granddad - be sure to check out the online store with all the answers!