no.stupid.answers

Since you’re following WikiAnswers on Twitter - you are following WikiAnswers on Twitter, right? - here’s the latest way to celebrate the Wiki way with the very best Q&A community around: #WikiWednesday. 

As you’ve realized, WikiAnswers Wednesday  is the weekly column we do on no.stupid.answers featuring the bizarre side of questions and answers. We want to extend that tradition of making Wednesday a day for wiki Q&A. 

So at some point today (and every other Wednesday), find a question you love, hate, smiled at, laughed at, or cried about… and tweet it with the #WikiWednesday hashtag. That way, we can all share and track the WikiAnswers Wednesday love by tweeting our favorites, retweeting others’, and viewing the growing collection of #WikiWednesday Q&A’s.

Jim’s back this week. He’s pushing me off of my desk chair right now - ooof - dls?jghdfjyudjueakl;jwr!gh - hey! careful with this keyboard!

Sorry, he’s just very eager to answer today’s WikiAnswers Wednesday question. Alright, alright, here you go, man…

Presenting, the all-knowing, ever-wise, and never-wrong Jim and today’s question:

What was England’s population in 1991?

To answer what at first appears to be a seemingly impossible question it’s important to remember a few important points.

1. Census date still does not exist in England. The English do not believe in numbers, having their society still influenced by ancient Druid beliefs. Druids were an ancient mystical people who didn’t believe in numbers or counting. In an ancient druid market if someone wanted three apples they would shout “churn that butter or I’ll cast a spell upon you making your eye fall out!”

2. The ancient Druids were very advanced, for their time of course. You can’t say anything the druids did is still advanced today. We’d laugh at them today if they tried to show us their advanced technologies. Personally I’d break their stones.

3. England is a country where population is less of a concern than afternoon naps, bedtime stories, and attempted vaccination attempts. What would really be a good question is how many English people have been injected with an anthrax vaccine. The answer is 76.5% of the 1991 population. A good follow-up question is: How effective are these vaccines? The answer can be best be summed up in telling a parable about water purity.

In conclusion, I am not going to tell you the answer to this question. How would that help you? Think of me as that fishing guy who teaches you how to fish. Now you have the tools to go out and conquer this question. I wish you luck. The following website also helps: http://www.statistics.gov.uk/census/

-Jim

Mathematics was never really my thing. I failed a couple of math exams here and there. So when I see a stumper like this one, I just have to sit down and take a deep breath:

On average how old is a 13-year-old?

Ok, so let’s see: If I add three and ten, divide it by fifteen, carry the one, shake my left hand three times, add the totals and then divide by zero, I’m fairly sure the answer is - wait for it:

Thirteen.

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and my stomach is already rumbling with excitement. Roast turkey… juicy stuffing… buttery potatoes… Since it’ll be another 24 hours before I get anything that good in my stomach, here’s a food question for WikiAnswers Wednesday:

Does a T-bone steak dissolve in water, Pepsi or Coca-Cola?

Actually, it dissolves in hydrochloric acid, which is fancy language for GET IN MY BELLY!